I guess I've still got those holes in my brain.

So it was a nice morning and I decided to go for a walk on my own for the first time. Autumn is my favourite time of year, when the leaves on the trees are turning. I tried to be sensible, taking my mobile phone and a back pack with some money, something to drink and my bunch of keys. I thought of taking a fold-up cane just in case, but no, plan for success. There are plenty of places to stop on my planned route, if I need to rest.

Off I went, down our road towards the town, through the avenue of horse chestnut trees,pausing to collect a few conkers on the way, revelling in my ability to bend down and pick them up for myself. I love conkers, their deep glossy brown contrasting with the pale cream area. A few in my coat pocket would serve as momentos of my first solo adventure.

Having stopped to buy a newspaper, I turned for home, uphill this time.  Part way up I stopped for a rest on a bench, sharing my refuge with an old man walking down the hill. We also shared a conspiratorial grin - no one else need know we had not stopped just to enjoy the scene, but we both knew the truth; sometimes you just have to stop.

So eventually I made my way  to the house, pride in having done it on my own. I reached into my rucksack and pulled out my bunch of keys, only  to finally remember the fact that had disappeared into my brain holes til then. Before we went away, we gave a neighbour my front door key, so that he could keep an eye on the place for us. In all the excitement of my treatment, we had never got it back
I was locked out,it was lunchtime and neither Robin nor our neighbour would be home until evening.

After sitting on the doorstep for a while, reading my newspaper and having a drink, contemplating what to do, I remembered the town library. Somewhere warm and comfortable I could spend the afternoon and while away the time browsing the books. I rang Robin at work and left him a message to pick me up from there  when he finished.

So my solo walk was a little longer than planned, as I made my way back down the hill again to town. But I made it to the library with only one rest stop, something truly unthinkable just a few short weeks ago. I am set free.