Wednesday, 23 March 2011

how fragile is confidence

It is now six months since I had my procedure, and life is pretty good. MS still reminds me that is has not given up on me; I have TN (trigeminal neuralgia) unless I take my meds regularly, and my left hand and foot occasionally play up.

But overall, the difference is still incredible. From considering wheelchairs to being able to walk without a cane. Getting psyched up to never being able to work again, to coping with a 25 hour week.

So it was a bit of a shock to the system when I had a fall at the weekend. Not as a direct consequence of MS, but I caught my feet in a cable on the floor as I turned, and hit the deck like someone poleaxed.

 So now my body is bruised and battered, but not as much as my confidence. Even now waves of misery and uncertainty pass over me, as I fear that I have lost all that I have gained. Logically, I know that this was the type of fall anyone could have had, but what has logic ever got to do with the fears that lurk in the soul?


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